On the dole in Florida

Florida may be one of the cheapest, most mean-spirited states when it comes to helping out the unfortunate, the disabled, the elderly and the down on their luck. If someone asks, "Brother, can you spare a dime?" Florida will say, "Get a fucking job, loser!"

Case in point: The state hasn't raised the $275 maximum weekly payment for unemployment benefits in a decade, even during the worst economic crisis in the country.

Hardly a sustainable stopgap, it works out to less than the minimum wage, less than what some high school kid makes working the register at Burger King or 7-11.

Other states have stepped up during hard times: New York pays a maximum $405 a week, California $450. Washington State was paying $583 but raised it in March to $608.

The economy hit Florida particularly hard because when the real estate market tanked, thousands of construction workers lost their jobs. Our state unemployment rate peaked at nearly 12 percent and is still one of the highest in the nation, and here in Brevard County it's even worse because of the end of the space shuttle program. Thousands of aerospace workers have been let go, albeit many with generous separation packages.

I am relatively lucky. My chintzy company is giving me transition pay. It's a good deal for the company I worked for, Gannett, because it doesn't have to dole out my full pay over the next three months or pay federal withholding tax. Cheap bastards. It set up a trust fund to supplement my unemployment compensation to match what I was making while employed. When it runs out after three months, I think I will definitely move to Seattle. I could live on $608 a week.

If that wasn't bad enough, the Florida Legislature decided to make it more difficult to qualify for and receive unemployment, and reduce the benefits to save businesses millions a year in payroll taxes. The douchebags in Tallahassee put the screws to people, who through no fault of their own, got laid off or lost their job. One lawmaker even wanted to include a requirement that unemployed folks put in four hours a week of volunteer service but someone pointed out that it would probably be illegal. Not to mention, kind of fucked up to volunteer at an agency whose services you yourself might need.

What did pass was an unemployment package that is extremely punitive, and only adds more misery to the lives of people who are trying to get by, feed their families and save their homes.

As of Aug. 1, you must file your unemployment claim online. If you don't have a computer you'll have to go to a local library or job center. And job centers are few and far between.

But it'll save the state $4.7 million a year in administration costs.

To add insult to injury, once you successfully file your claim, you are required to take a skills assessment test, which measures your math and language skills and your ability to read pie charts, for some unknown reason.

Also, to receive your benefits, you must prove you contacted at least five employers a week, or meet with a job rep at one of the state's one-stop centers.

It gets worse. Starting Jan.1, 2012, the benefits duration drops from 26 weeks to a range of 12 to 23 weeks depending on the unemployment rate. That'll save the state another $103 million a year.

That's $103 million businesses won't have to pay in taxes, which will magically produce jobs, or so thinks Conservative Rep. Ritch Workman (in photo, right), a mortgage broker from Melbourne.

"High business taxes equal higher business taxes and increased layoffs," Workman said as a way to justify shafting the out-of-work. "Our businesses drive our economic recovery."

Sounds like the logic of  a man who sold more than one sub-prime mortgage.


Unemployment insurance is supposed to help people who lose their jobs, not punish them. It's rather dickish in these tough times to make it harder to receive what is essentially a benefit you earned by working -- a benefit that was taken out of your paycheck in the first place.

And that is just another reason for wanting to leave this fucking state.

Maybe I'll check out Seattle.